Today really took the cake for anticlimactic birthday of the year.
I never intended for this day to start off wrong, or for Jay to have to go to work and not get on Skype. Things just didn’t pan out today.
We started out the day cleaning – frantically – because we had a showing at 1.
And things just weren’t going right. The vacuum plugged up and I didn’t have any more bags. A light went out. Gaius kept getting into things and destroying what I had just cleaned.
So I got frustrated, and I yelled.
Then, to top it off the Realtor and client showed up 1/2 an hour early.
I felt rushed and frantic, and the floors didn’t get cleaned.
What a way for my oldest daughter to start her birthday huh?
But once we got out of the house, we did some fun things. We went to Walmart and Raven picked out her cake and some icing because she wanted to decorate it herself (see above picture).
And Denna picked out her present to give her sister. She picked 4 kinds of new duct tape that Raven hadn’t even seen yet.
Then when we got home, there were 2 birthday cards waiting in the mail – both with money.
I made a huge pot of yummy vegetable soup with garlic bread for supper and we all sat down to a classic movie – “Honey I Shrunk The Kids”.
We were sad when we found out that Jay had to work, which meant that he would not get to see Raven blow out her candles via Skype.
It just didn’t feel celebratory to me today. It felt like a crummy day.
I know I haven’t been doing the greatest job at mothering lately. I’ve been irritable and short-tempered. I haven’t had a good sleep schedule since Jay left. And I really just let Raven’s birthday slip up on me without making any big plans. Life is all out of wack since the house was put up for sale and we packed 1/2 of our belongings into storage. It’s like we are waiting to be able to live again.
I am so ready to live again. I feel down and worn-out.
And this birthday reflected that.
We are once again living in our temporary tents, groaning and waiting for God to give us some direction. Some sense of purpose. And waiting is the hardest part.
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning. -Psalm 130:5-6
I know that even though things didn’t work out as planned, and I had a bad attitude part of the day, that tomorrow God’s mercies are new. And who says we can’t have another celebration tomorrow?